Regarding my First Full School Year of Youth Ministry

1. Kids Don't Expect you to speak Like Rob Bell, Louie Giglio, Erwin McManus, Doug Fields, Andy Stanley, or anyone else you think Rules.

Honestly, I thought that the funnier I was, the smarter I was, the more impressive my topics were, the quicker the group would grow. But that wasn't it at all. The group finally started to grow when the teaching reflected the same heart as the relationships. So many of the questions and stories we were getting from kids was about their friends and families. So instead of trying to preach them out of their problems, we simply just offered a relationship in the midst of them. Relationships were always a part of the process so don't get me wrong in thinking that we weren't offering them. But I kept on reading book after book about "success stories" that I was confused about what my job (much less my work day) should really look like.

Don't get me wrong, without the leaders I listed first, I would feel like a fish out of water in ministry, it just turned out that I just needed to hear their heart and wisdom not be them.

2. The Measurement of Success

The problem with vocational ministry is the fact that you are indeed payed to be a Pastor. And in a capitalistic society that pays for services rendered, it's hard to think of yourself as a person who has to put out statistical or at least measurable results in order to be "worth the investment."

I can't tell you how many times this of thinking gets to me. I often wonder if I'm doing the right thing, just based on the attendance of our midweek program. And honestly, it's hard not to when I have seen so many ministries when I arrogantly thought to myself "this ministry would probably grow if that guy (pointing to the pastor) would get his act together (probably not in so many words, but you get the idea).

But here I am in a ministry where yes we are growing spiritually, and with modest ups and downs in attendance, I can't help but wonder if my heart is really leading me in the right direction when a Wednesday night is down.

That's when I asked myself the question:
If I miss a Sunday does that make me a bad Christian? Or Does it mean that I'm not committed? Or Does it mean that I don't value the lessons that I'm learning from the Pastor?
No, at least if it's not a frequent flippant choice to not attend.

So what's the measuring stick I use now?
I don't have a clear one that I can clearly share yet, but I'm not stressing about it the same way I used to. I haven't become comfortable, I've just become more confident that God is doing a good work that I can't put my finger on in this youth group.

3. A Book doesn't teach you how to handle Junior Higher ...
But, Christ's heart does. In find myself returning more and more to His heart, His patience, His honesty, His way of clarity and mystery, His intolerance of injustice, His heart for the difficult people, and His sacrifice through the night that ended when He brought hope to the morning sun. It's through the idea's and the compannionship of Christ that I have endured and walk on to a journey that will culminate in my death. I made peace during my first year of youth ministry that I have begun my journey out of my youth and towards a death where I will account for the sheep of my master. And Christ has given me the peace and confidence to meet that moment.

I pray that over the years, Jesus will make himself known in the quiet moments and the loud moments of life. But as for the first year, My Jesus never let me down. He never walked away and He never let my bumbling ways ruin His message.