What I would do for 50 free things from Simply Youth Ministry.com

So a website I use called Simply Youth ministry has a great podcast for youth pastors and they are having a contest for their 50th episode special. They said that they would give away 50 free resources for either the best email or best idea for the show. So I gave them 50 things I would do for free stuff from the site.

Here's what I listed.


1. Stand outside near a street corner for 50 minutes wearing nothing but a speedo (I weigh 300 pounds, so I you know that this would bring sexy back).

2. lose 50 pounds in 500 days

3. eat a cow tongue raw

4. Give my 60 gig iPod to those guys

5. shave any part of my body (keep it PG please)

6. Build a statue of Matt (a guy from the show) made up of thing but Miracle Whip, goat cheese, Whoppers, melons, and bottles of Diet Pepsi

7. Eat Dog droppings

8. wax my legs

9. Get PDYM (purpose driven youth ministry) tattooed on some part of my body.

10. go without shoes for a month

11. kick a pig

12. kick a junior higher

13. buy a goat

14. suffocate a turtle

15. get my nipple pierced

16. wear a moo-moo in public

17. watch "Bad Boys 2"

18. kick over motorcycles in front of a biker bar

19. shave off one eyebrow

20. fight a woodland creature

21. Get in a knife fight with Sanjaya

22. Listen to the William Hung CD for 48 hours non-stop

23. Give an entire Sermon in Pig-latin

24. Drink out of the Detroit River

25. Build a tree fort and not let any girls in (that'll teach em)

26. Drink 50 red-bulls in one day

27. wear my underwear on the outside of my pants to go grocery shopping?

28. start singing out loud in a public library

29. sit in a restaurant and pour a glass of milk over my head

30. Wear an eye patch and speak like a pirate

31. crack 6 eggs into my underwear and then go to the movies with them still in my underwear

32. wear sandals every day outside for the months of Dec-March

33. break wind in a crowded elevator

34. unlock the entire Barbie horse adventure game for Xbox, while dressed like Barbie (not just beat the game, but get all the extras in it)

35. drive around in an empty ice cream truck that only has chilled asparagus and skim milk on a hot summer day.

36. mud-wrestle Darth Vader (or at least his clone)

37. 6 hours, doors closed, in a full port a potty on a hot day

38. smuggle maple syrup into Canada
like a u-haul full of maple syrup

39. hug an unsuspecting black bear while wearing a velcro suit

40. Three Words "Hot Sauce - Enema"

41. Write a simply youth ministry podcast Theme Song w/ tons of "Styder" coolness.

42. give up T.V. for 50 days

43. Wear a pony-hawk (Sanjaya style)

44.Watch Gigli and admit to people that I liked it

45. Communicate only through a sock puppet for an entire month

46. memorize the 1st season of the golden girls, line for line

47. ride in a bus, across the country, with a polka band

48. get left nostril surgically shut

49. capture and eat a goose raw

50. go three rounds with a professional heavy weight boxer